I was recently chatting with a friend about the effects of gratitude. I’m sure we’ve all experienced it. Say you’ve had a completely stressful week at work, you just realized that you forgot to stick a bill payment in the mail and the neighbor’s dog got into your back yard and tore up a flower bed. Ugh! Just before your head explodes, a friend drops by with a plate of brownies and returns the dress she had borrowed. Your stress level lowers, just enough that the head explosion is averted. That’s gratitude at work. You thank your friend, give her a hug and your stress level drops, a bit lower. After a walk to the mailbox you notice how nice the evening is and venture into the yard to attempt garden repairs. As you feel the earth between your fingers you see your beautiful flowers and realize that the dog had scratched around, maybe rolled just a bit, but most plants were intact and some of the weeds you’d been meaning to pull were now dealt with. You chuckle, pull the few remaining weeds and whisper sweet little bits of gratitude, “I’m so thankful you weren’t hurt! I guess I should thank Rover for digging up these weeds...”. With each little thought, the stress slips from your body and your mood lifts. That’s gratitude working.
There have been many studies done on the power of gratitude including Harvard’s Gratitude Case Study and Berkeley’s Expanding the Science and Practice of Gratitude. Most, I believe, conclude that conscious use of gratitude can decrease one’s stress, improve one’s physical health, level of happiness and life satisfaction.
My friend had just started an exercise in her life, hoping to decrease her stress and find more happiness. She had heard about it on a talk show. My friend was starting each day by taking a moment to write three things that she was grateful for. 3 things, 6 things, 20 things or 1 thing; the beginning of the day, the end of the day, once a week... you will find many versions of the same idea should you Google exercises of gratitude.
Myself, I am a believer in starting and ending each day with thoughts of gratitude, written, spoken aloud or quietly listed in my thoughts. I am a believer in expressing my gratitude to others, from the barista, to my hairdresser, to my husband, to my children, to the woman that held the door for me or the person that liked my art or my shoes or was kind in a difficult situation. The more we express our gratitude, the more we realize that we have, to be thankful for. I am a believer in gratitude leading to joy.
I know that when life seems at its worst, illness, loss, over-commitment, it can be a bit difficult to think of what you are grateful for. Your brain happily feeds you the things that are wrong, the problems it can work on, the things you might fix or want to fix. Your brain lives to work on things, solve problems and in many of us, worry just a bit. So, when you are at your wits end it is truly challenging to think of one thing you are thankful for. You might start to write: “I am thankful for my home,” and your brain gives you a list of neglected chores, the loud neighbors and the cost of the rent. You refocus and start to write: “I am thankful for my good health,” when your brain reminds you of the headache you have, the fact that you haven’t been to the gym in two weeks and the woman down the street is a dying of cancer. You shake it off, notice your cat sleeping on the foot of the bed, and write, “ I am thankful for my cat,” then, wait for it... nothing. So, you write, “I am thankful that my cat likes to sleep on the foot of my bed.” “I am thankful for the quilt on my bed that was my grandmothers.” “ I am thankful for my grandmother.” “I am thankful for my family,” and suddenly, your brain chimes in “Well your cousin Bob is kind of a jerk.”
My point, when you first start practicing gratitude you are retraining your brain. As with any exercise, the more you do it, the easier it becomes and the more you can do it. Start out able to do one push up, with practice you work up to 3, then 10, then 50 and 100.
It was not two years ago that practicing gratitude helped to change my life. I had lost my job of many years and was shocked, hurt, angry and scared. My brain was working overtime, there was a whole life to be fixed. “Sell the house, get a job, get even, have a good cry, do yoga, tell the world, hold your tongue, hate, forgive, pity, love, breathe, forgive, think, think… there is an answer if I just could think of it.” Daily, hourly, minute by minute it went on. Running calmed my mind while I ran. Yoga calmed my mind while I was on the mat. My brain was always right there trying to make things better, figure out why things happened and what should be done.
One day I read that writing 10 things that you are grateful for at the end of each day could change your life. Really? Hmm... I can do that, I thought. Not so easy. Note pad and pen on the nightstand, showered and comfy (as I could be) I would sit on my bed, take pen and paper in hand and write, at least try to write. Pen to paper, I cried, I thought, I cried, I wrote, I forced myself to get to 10 things every night. It was not easy with my brain throwing up painful memories and trying to redirect me to the issues at hand. But each night it got just a bit easier. I wrote ten things, oops, that was twelve, then fifteen and then I was turning the page. I found my sleep easier, my smile relaxed, my worries lessened, ideas were hatched, and decisions were made; my heart filled with joy and Joie de Vie Art & Word was born. My path was set, and I was grateful.
I am a believer in the positive power that gratitude can have on our lives. I am thankful for every day and the opportunities that it holds. I am thankful for the wonderful people that have welcomed me into their lives. I am thankful for friends, family, the sun in the sky and the flowers that are blooming. I am thankful for every new day and every new project.
Speaking of new projects, I would love to hear some things that you are thankful for. Please jot them below in comments. Share this post with friends that they might share their thoughts of gratitude.
Thank you for reading, thank you for responding and thank you for the joy that you bring!
Love and gratitude,
Bella