It has tipped in and out of triple digits here all week.  As much as I love summer weather, it is always a crazy adjustment when it gets that hot.  Do we use the air conditioner, do we hold out?  Why that decision is such a struggle, I do not know.   But, I am not here to discuss that.  I awakened this morning to rain and thunder and lightning. I threw open the windows to let the freshness roll through the house, I looked out as the flowers seemed to dance joyfully in the rain.  There is no better music than a lovely Spring rain. 

   I am lingering in the sun room with a second cup of coffee.  The power is out, the rain is falling and my heart is full.  I am filled with such gratitude and joy for this gift of one more Spring rain before summer, the opportunity to just be… dry, safe, refreshed and hopeful.  My heart is dancing with the flowers.  As I sit and sip, and breathe, I think of all I have to celebrate in this crazy, busy, pandemic skewed life.  I wonder when we will see each other again.  I wonder why I haven’t written. I wonder how you are doing and hope that you have weathered this time unscathed. 

       I found myself frozen and unable to step into my studio for the first six weeks of our state’s stay at home order.  Was it guilt for having potential joy when others were suffering?  Was I lost without social connections?  Was I frightened, helpless and feeling the pain of the world?   Yes, yes and yes.  I could not put a joyful twist on this.  I was out of my league. 

I continued to work in health care, of course.  At home, I cleaned, I cooked, I meditated, and, no doubt, tortured Rick (the provider of love and support).  I thought I should reach out, see how you were, but what did I have to offer?  So, I did not.  I worked.  I cleaned.  I cooked.  I meditated.

     Then one day a few weeks into Spring on the calendar, the sun came out, bringing with it hope, joy and renewal.  The flowers popped out with that little beckoning and an invitation from Mother Nature. “Come out and play, this will pass, join the party.  Come and play, dance with the flowers, sing with the birds, and be delighted.”  So, I did.  I breathed in the fresh air and was filled with hope.  I was able to paint, plan and look to the future without fear.   

  I still cannot have that party, do lunch with my friends or take that trip to see those far but dear.  I know those days will come.  We will once again be able to play and laugh together, share how we weathered the storm, and simply breathe.  For today, I hope you can accept the invitation: step outside, breathe the air and feel the joy and hope of a Spring day.

With love and gratitude,

Bella